Tag Archives: dogs

Dog Gone It

So the big talk over here at Camp Mix & Bitch is if and/or when we’re going to adopt a shelter dog.  It’s either a dog or a third kid, believe it or not. 

One of the strange side effects of turning 40 has been this overwhelmingly strong urge to nurture something small.  It’s like my body realizes it just made a hard right turn down mid-life crisis highway and is desperate to propagate the species one…last…(cough)…time. 

Biology’s a bitch my fine furless  friends.

Good thing for me and Mr. Mix that I tied up the internal plumbing years ago, otherwise I may let that toxic drug known as estrogen overrule my common sense and get myself knocked up on purpose.  Mr. Mix is an infinitely patient and selfless man, but even I know I’d be pushing it too far with another one.

Between you and me (ahem), if I had my way, I’d be high tailing it over to China or Vietnam in a heartbeat and grab me one of those beyond adorable and precious little Asian babies.  Hey, if they’re stupid enough not to want their girls, I’ll take ’em.

AsianBaby2.jpg Asian Baby 2 image by arthur-o_O

C’mon, how cute is she?

Don’t you just want to bite those little cheeks?

Btw, I am not implying that a dog replaces a human child.  I’m just saying that I can handle an adult dog…a baby (even a beyond gorgeous Asian girl baby) is beyond my emotional and financial resources at this point in my life. And I’m pretty sure Mr. Mix would leave me if there was a third baby to contend with around here.

So as long as I don’t get a puppy, I think he’s cool with abating my aching womb syndrome.

Anyhoo, so I’ve been doing lots of research, on breeds, on shelters, on what to expect when you’re expecting something furry, etc. etc.  And while I’d like something of a scrappy variety like this little guy…

Drama Queen and Sweet Pea long for a dog more along the lines of this…

I know, I know…it’s not a dog, it’s a duster. But they want something small and cuddly that they can pick up and hold. I get it.

So I start finding dogs on Petfinder and submitting applications to different shelters. Holy Friggin’ Shitballs Batman! These applications were ridiculous.  I think I could’ve adopted me some Angelina orphans for less hassle than to get me a goddamn dog in this town.

Long story a bit shorter, I finally chucked the idea of the smaller rescue outfits in favor of the good ‘ol Humane Society of Fairfax County.  Within 24 hours, they called me after I filled out only a 2 page application (versus the 4-6 pages monsters with the other rescues, each asking for, like 5 references, my mother’s maiden name, how large is my husband’s left nut, and will I promise to wipe the dog’s ass after every poop for the rest of my life, so help me God?).  They told me they’ll line up the kinds of dogs we’re looking for, gave me the address, and made an appointment for next weekend.

Done. Capeesh. Finite.

So once we get the precious mutt, I promise to post some pictures. Wish me luck people!

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Who Let the Dog Lover Out?

Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,

I know I’m setting myself up for some ridicule by asking this question, but for me it’s a real problem, and I need your help.

I recently met a man that I’m crazy about, which doesn’t happen very often for me.  He’s sweet and funny, has a good job, and even volunteers at an animal shelter on the weekends (that’s how we met).  We went out once and it was an almost perfect evening. I say “almost” because I found out he’s a cat person. In fact, he says he has four cats. While I love animals in general, I’m really a dog person, and to tell you the truth, cat people weird me out. The fact that this guy has four cats REALLY weirds me out.

After we went out, he called me the next day to ask me out again.  I told him I was going out of town for a conference (which is actually true), so he told me to call him when I get back so we could make plans. While I was away, I thought a lot about this, and I’m still torn. I really do like him, and I know I sound like a jerk, but the cat thing really bothers me. My ex husband – who was a louse – was also a cat person, but I don’t think this has anything to do with it. I just don’t trust cat people.  What should I do?

Signed, Dodging in Dogtown

“Uh hey, can I take my lame issues in a doggie bag to go, please?”

Dear Dame Doggie,

If it’s going to sound as if I’m being rough on you, it’s because I am.  And I am going to make this short as well.

Unless you were attacked by a rabid band of cats when you were a defenseless child, using the excuse that you won’t go out with a great guy because he likes cats is as lame as it comes.  Really. And you know that, don’t you? 

Men who like and care for animals are almost as high on my list as men who genuinely like hanging out with their kids.  Both are more rare than those deceptive men’s fragrance ads would have you believe. Now, I’m not saying that this is your dream man, but how are you going to know otherwise after just one date?

If they can get along, maybe you two can as well?

If they can get along, maybe you two can as well?

Oh and BTW, the fact that you don’t trust men with cats has EVERYTHING to do with your ex husband. But lumping all Y chromosomed, kitty kat Jacks together as the nebulus evil force in the dating world is just completely self defeating and dumb. Give this guy a chance…and even more importantly, give YOURSELF the chance to be happy with someone besides your slobbery, four legged friends.

What have you got to lose but a night out?