Category Archives: Uncategorized

Say Goodnight and Go

Wow, this is overdue…

I think it’s time I officially close shop here people.  You knew this was coming…I don’t stop by as often as I used to, I hardly tweet anymore…the signs have been there for a while. The truth is, I’ve started my own consulting company and it’s taking off – which is something of a miracle in this crap hole of an economy.  Plus I’ve got the whole happy fam/cool kids groove rolling along now.  Point is, I’m lucky and busy. 

I want to thank you for making Mix Tape Therapy what it was – and for trusting me with your questions and allowing me to subject my strange musical tastes on you.  In the end, I think you helped save my sanity much more than I ever did yours.

Drama Free and Humor Filled,

Ms. Mix & Bitch

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Ms. Mix & Bitch’s Confession #11: My Dad, the Vietnam Vet.

   

I have to admit that on most Veterans/Memorial Days, I let them come and go without much thought.  Even though my dad served during the Vietnam War and my mother’s father in World War II, I don’t feel like I come from a military family per se.  Probably because my dad never talked about his time in the service and my grandpa was dead and gone before I had a chance to ask him anything.

As I was growing up and learned more about Vietnam, I thought (perhaps) the war was the reason why my dad was such a taciturn, quick-to-anger character.  I had a whole explanation in my head that he must have had to drop bombs on little Asian babies (he was in the Air Force) or witnessed the torching of entire villages.  That would explain why he was so distant, so gruff towards me while I was little. 

By the time I was twelve, I had the nerve to ask him about his military service, and he just laughed it off, saying to me, “No, I never actually went over to Vietnam.  I was stationed in northern California and Greenland – hardly anything to cry over.”  There went my theory.  He wasn’t suffering from PTSD.  He was just an asshole.

 Years went by, and my father and I grew further apart before we eventually called a truce and found something as close to common ground as we’re ever going to come.  One of the moments that brought us there came in a South Florida movie theater.  We went together to see the film, “Saving Private Ryan.”  The first few minutes of the film are pretty gruesome, showing the soliders storming the beaches of Normandy, sea water foaming red from the blood spilled.  But that’s not what got to him.  It was the scene where the soldiers come to Private Ryan’s home, and his mother collapses on the front porch. I look over to see my own dad, sitting next to me in a wheelchair (crippled by multiple sclerosis), silently crying with his shoulders shaking.  I was stunned, not even being able to remember a time I saw my father so upset.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me, “That was my job during the war, to alert the next of kin when their son or father or brother had been killed. It was…absolutely horrible.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about that?” I asked him.

He wiped his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know.  I guess I just didn’t want to remember.”

Then I put my arm around him and squeezed his hand, and the best part about it was that he let me.  He allowed me to see him at his most vulnerable, and he let me comfort him. 

So that’s what I will remember today on Veteran’s Day…not just the soliders who fought and lost their lives, but the ones who had the luck and burden of being left behind.

Ms.Mix & Bitch’s Confession #17: Leaving My Heart in San Francisco

  

I always seem to miss San Francisco a little more during Halloween.  We lived there for seven plus years, and once we had kids who were old enough to waddle, we got involved in the city’s fall festivities with a vengeance. 

Now, most think of San Francisco and Halloween as another excuse for the bear cubs and leather daddies of the Castro District to don their wares and strut their stuff in yet another Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are Gay Pride Parade. 

That’s true, btw, but that’s not the Halloween I remember.  Mine had a lot less fairies and pixie dust, but a hell of a lot more magic.

 We moved around a bit within the city, but spent the majority of our years in the Richmond District, and the best thing I could say about that neighborhood is the rents were ‘reasonable’  and the flats were huge – two characteristics which usually don’t happen in San Francisco.  Other than that,  it was fairly blasé…but everything in the city is so close, it never mattered much to us.  What was pretty cool was that my relatively nondescript neighborhood bordered Seacliff – a neighborhood perched right on the edge of the Pacific Ocean directly overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.  Views worth killing over. With a price tag to match…Danny Glover and Robin Williams live there, to give you an idea of the kind of money it would take to get into that small enclave of cosmic heaven.

Anyway, the Seacliff kids used to have Halloween all to themselves until word got out that their lil’ slice of heaven gave out the BIG candy bars and glow-in-the-dark thingys.  Just an FYI: Robin Williams always gave out the best stuff. Not him directly, of course, but two huge body guards named Thor or something like that.

So we would wander from house to house, all decorated to the hilt, with these twinkly lights hanging everywhere.  And you’d look out onto the ocean and see the Golden Gate Bridge all lit up.  It would take my breath away, it was so gorgeous.  I wish I had a picture to show you what I saw, but nothing I found on the internet does it justice. 

I felt completely at home in San Francisco and it were moments like that I would thank the Universe quietly to myself for giving me the opportunity to live there.  I miss it, I do.  But I also know that so much of what I loved about San Fran was an illusion, or at least out of reach for us…it was just too expensive, too cumbersome for daily family life with two kids.  I used to say you couldn’t leave your house without some how, some way spending at least $100.  Whether it was for food or another goddamn parking ticket or something or another.  It wore you down after a while. 

But Halloween in San Francisco, at least, was always free.  And that I’ll always remember fondly.

Closed for Repairs

Hello MixTapers 🙂

Over the next few weeks, I will be revamping my lil’ corner of cyberspace here, in order to bring you a more fabulous, user-friendly music-mixing, advice blog.  For those of you who have sent me questions, be patient. I promise to get to you shortly after the renovations.

Thanks,

Ms. Mix & Bitch

Shameless Plug Moment #5

 

It’s heeerrreee! My first piece on Pajiba Music.  Click here. Click often. Tell me what you think.

On a Vaca…

Currently vegging on the family property in North Carolina…be back soon.

A Humble Thanks

     f4af5d3c.jpg hands on face image by rakuenkirei    

Once in a while, a boomerang swings around and hits ya right back between the eyes.

Meaning, something you’ve written has provoked something in someone else. Which is a major reason why us bloggers do what we do. So, thanks 🙂

Oh, and here’s the link to the post she’s referencing.