Gay? Straight? Bi? Try Bored Already.

So the big news in the blogosphere today is that Academy Award winning actress, Anna Paquin, has announced she’s a bisexual.  This, of course, is right on the tails of Ricky Martin’s announcement that he’s actually (wait for it, wait for it) gay. 

Well, whoop-de-FRICKIN’-doo.

Look, let me say right off the bat that I’m all for gay rights. I think the LGBT community should be able to get married, adopt kids, the whole she-bang bang.  And I get that the more people “come out” of the closet, the more we bring complicated issues of sexuality and gender into the mainstream conversation, which hopefully leads to acceptance.  Duly noted.

I guess I’m just bored of the conversation.  Like with race and the presidency, I would like for us – as a nation – to frankly be better than this, that “issues” such as who one wants to shag & love, is in fact no big deal and is no one’s business. 

Moreover, the idea of labeling our sexuality just seems ridiculous as a whole.  For me, as long as it’s human and an adult, whatever you’re into, it’s go-time.  Which is why, I guess, many are turning to the Greeks (because, um yeah, that’s who ya go to when you want to know the origins of pretty much anything to do with sex) for the term pansexuality.

Pansexuality (also referred to as pans), or omnisexuality[1] is a sexual orientation, characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[2] For others, an individual’s sex, gender expression,or gender identity can be a key factor of attraction, despite the pansexual individual’s wide range of sex and gender attractions.The word pansexual is derived from the Greek prefix pan-, meaning “all”. It is intended to negate the idea of two genders (as expressed by bi-). The adjective pansexual may also be applied to organizations or events. In this context, the term usually indicates an openness to the involvement of people of all genders and sexual orientations in said organization/event, as well as the pansexual sexual identity.

I know.  Sounds kinda weird like that, but is it really?  Truth be told, while the majority of time I’m into men, I will occasionally see a woman who I’d run over puppies to get to.  And frankly, certain androgynous choice selections like k.d. lang (well, maybe 10 years ago) I find totally compelling as well.  And the reason why I don’t worry about putting a label on it is because I see the inherent fluidity within sexuality. 

That said, I know I make such declarations from the comfy seated privilege “throne” of legally sanctioned ‘heterosexuality’.  Trust me, I’m more than willing to share. Really.

Anyway, so Anna Paquin likes hot dogs and hamburgers. Good for her. And psst…Ricky? We figured you out a loonngg time ago.  I didn’t care then.  I don’t care now.  Be happy.  Be safe. And let’s care about something beyond our neighbors’ bedrooms.


4 responses to “Gay? Straight? Bi? Try Bored Already.

  1. I teach high school psychology, and our textbook cites a lot of research stating that men are more likely to be hetero OR homo, whereas women often fall somewhere along a spectrum of sexuality, more often not entirely at one end or the other. So you’re in good company, toots.

  2. Shut the fuck up? Really?

    Yeah, it would be freaking sweet if we lived in a world where being gay or bi is no big deal. But we don’t live in that world. There are still gay people all over who suffer discrimination, and it certainly doesn’t help to have high-profile queers stay quiet.

    Should Ricky Martin have just stayed in the closet?

  3. I wish I had some sort of big announcement to make…

    Hey! I’m tall!
    Hey! I like avocados!
    Hey! I can touch my toes!
    Hey! I want some extra attention!

    Hm. Maybe I will have to keep working on it, I’m not sure those are gonna get me on the cover of People Mag.

    Damn. There go my 15 minutes of recycled fame.

  4. Andrea,

    An excellent point. Actually what I wonder is how much of the binary results concerning male sexuality is more of a result of our socially constructed culture versus “just being born more one way than another.” Hard to judge, considering the whole nature vs. nurture argument.

    All That Razz,

    Nope, Ricky shouldn’t stay in the closet, and as I said, I get the point of such ‘announcements’. What I’m saying is that I just we were beyond this already. Consider the post a wish list of sorts. And frankly, until gay marriage is legal, this issue needs to be made ‘a big deal’…

    That said, I think the more of us who demonstrate that being ‘gay’ or ‘bi’ or whatev is no big deal, it helps condition others around us who are still bent out of shape about it to relax and get a grip.


    You should just announce that you’re ten shades of awesome. Because it’s true.

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