A Mix & Bitch Account of The American Music Awards

 

I’m not a fan of award shows for their designated purpose per se, of giving the entertainment industry a ‘pat on the back’ for every semi-creative hiccup that comes out of their mouths.  But they’re great if you need to expunge the snarky within.  Because they’re so over-the-top these days, the opportunity to let out the inner bitchy critic is just too easy to resist.  So without further adieu, here I go…

I’m a fan of Kate Hudson. I think she channels the adorable and quirky just as good as her mama, Goldie Hawn ever did.  And I really do get that she’s a thin girl with little on top.  But man o man, take a look at this shot from the AMAs…

I mean – MY GOD – there’s nothing there!  Not even two little training bra bumps. Jesus, Kate…eat some sandwiches with extra mayo and grow a pair.  We’ve seen you with them before.  Remember when?

Ok, granted… you were pregnant in this picture.  But sans the baby bump, you probably had an extra fifteen to twenty pounds on ya.  Get what kitten…they look good on you.

Speaking of growing a pair, seems now that Adam Lambert’s out of the American Idol box, he wants to get his freak on, like, ten fold…

Here, he’s alerting the crowd that, yes, he does have a penis.

And here, he’s making sure we’re all painfully aware of what he likes done to his penis.

And that he doesn’t want any girl cooties near his magic mike…

“Eew! Don’t touch it! It’ll shrinky-dink back to its original size!”

Ahh….that’s better….

Boy meets boy….boy mauls boy. A classic love story.

Speaking of bro-mances…look who 50 cent brought to the AMAs as his date…

Wow, it’s the former hottie – now puffy -Val Kilmer.  It breaks my heart to see how badly he’s aged….

Anyway, a lot of boy love at the AMA’s this year, which is – ya know – fine.  But leave it to Rhianna to remind us what a woman looks like…

Mind you, a bullet-touting, S & M bondage loving, hospital tape-wearing woman. Takes a lot of something to have the balls to wear this…which incidentally makes Rhianna the one sporting the biggest dick at the AMAs this year.

Take that Chris Brown, 50 cent, Lambert and your Merry Men…

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2 responses to “A Mix & Bitch Account of The American Music Awards

  1. That dress is something else… wow

  2. OK… this is an old post, I know — ran across it looking for something else entirely.

    As an Adam Lambert fan, I should be all mad and huffy and telling you you’re EVIL.

    I’ll get to that in a minute — when I stop laughing maniacally at the commentary. Even three years on I want to know why he had a hamster in there fighting to get free and RUN AWAY from the crazy.

    And Rihanna’s dress? This is the first I’ve seen that, and — really, that is just TMI. I grant her mega-balls for wearing it, but DAYUM, son!

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