Ms. Mix & Bitch’s Confession #42: I Wouldn’t Want to Join Any Club Who Would Have You as a Member

So, eldest spawn, Sweet Pea, is a member of the Girl Scouts.  Next year, Drama Queen wants to join, and I myself am a former Scout as well.  I used to also be a member of a (wink) Spiritually Vacuous, Dememted and EnTitled Greek organization best known for its perfection of the eye-roll and hair flip simultaneously. And after many other tried-and-failed attempts, I slowly came to the realization that I’m not a joiner.  I’m not comfy in big cliques, and I’m not a fan of the group-think.  That doesn’t make me any better or worse than the rest of you…it just means I know my limits, and if you ask me to join your club – no matter how much I like you – I’m not going. No way. No how.

Ironic because I’m not a loner by nature.  In small doses, I actually like people.  Need then, to be brutally honest.  But I think most of us lose some of our minds and natural common sense and decency when we’re part of a collective.  This is also ironic because when studying for my history masters degree, my sub-specialization was the roles of women in utopian communities.  And my recent favorite documentary is called “Commune.”  I love the idea of groups coming together to better the world, to shed the individual skin in order to experience the spiritual ecstasies often found in collectives. It just never works out that way.  And I am becoming, admittedly, more particular and fussy with age and don’t like people in my space for too long of a time anymore.  Besides, after studying the roles of women in communes, cults, collectives, kibbutzes – what have you – you know what I found out? Even in the most democratically organized of them, most of the women ended up caring for the kids, cooking and cleaning up after everyone else. Oh, and of course, being sexually available to every man on the compound, or otherwise being considered too bourgeoisie and uppity for their own good. 

Yeah…my thoughts exactly.

Anyway, don’t ask me how I got on this rant when thinking about my little ones in Girl Scouts.  I know it’s an innocuous organization…even if they do push those cookies harder than Frank Lewis did his Blue Magic heroin in the 70s…I just get a bit uneasy when they ask to join anything.  Color me suspicious. You wouldn’t be the first, and that’s just how I roll over here. 

Just be lucky you don’t have to live with me. I’d probably end up flushing your toothbrush down the toilet.


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