Bang a Gong, Get It On

Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,

My wife and I have been married for 4 wonderful years. For two of  those years, we were intercoursing like rabbits. We were having sex everyday and sometimes 3 times in a day on weekends. At that time, I had a good job that was a half hour away on a bad day.

After our daughter was born, her needs cut into our sex lives but we would still be able to find time to do it every other day. After I got laid off, I found a new job that was an hour away by train. I have to get up at
4:30am to get ready for work and don’t get home until 5pm. Because of this, I try to stay on a strict sleep schedule so I can at least get 6 hours of sleep. The downside is that it’s cut into our sex lives by a lot. Now we are lucky to do it once a week. It’s very frustrating to my wife since everytime she tries to wake me up I’m either completely out or I’m in a mid sleep stupor and I tell her to leave me alone (I don’t remember any of it but she makes sure to let me know). What I’ve noticed is that my lack of sleep has killed my sex drive. Whereas before the mere sight of her made me want to jump on her like a hungry lion on a gazelle, now it takes a concentrated effort on my part to get aroused. All this leads to a very frustrated and, at times, angry wife. I love her more now than ever before and would like to please her as much as she desires but it’s become so difficult due to work. I’ve tried to explain to her that it’s not that I don’t love her, it’s just that losing even an hour of sleep can wreck the rest of the day. I’m not sure what else I can tell her to keep her from getting mad. I can’t leave this job since it’s tough finding a new one these days and also because I like working there. What else can I tell her to keep her from getting mad or should I just give in and lose some more sleep to fulfill her needs?
 
Signed,

Sleepless in the Midwest

Dear Sleepless,

First of all, I don’t know why you’re calling yourself “sleepless” or saying how lack of sleep is killing your sex drive ‘cuz here from the cheap seats, it sounds as if you’re making sure you’re getting plenty of beauty rest.

Listen, I get that a long commute and new baby’s gonna crank into your “intercoursing” time (never call it that again, ok? It’s just…creepy), and it sounds to me that all this extra responsibility is what’s ruining your “lion” lust.  Guys have a lot of pressure on them these days. Understood.  But dude, listen here and listen good….

MAN UP!!

That means you’ve got to lose an extra hour or two of sleep during the week in order to rock the casbah, so to speak, then do it.  You get cranky without your 6-8 hours a night? Guess what….you’ll get used to it. New mothers do this all the time and their bodies adjust after a few weeks.  So can your Princely Primadonna Ass.  Catch up on your sleep with a nap or two over the weekend.  Jesus Christ…give me a REAL problem dude…you’ve got a hot wife who turns you on and just wants to bang you all the time. Poor you, boo hoo.

Write me when you think she’s banging the out-of-work actor next door, k?

No mix today – my computer’s down (on my daughters) and I have no access to all my music. Yep. That’s right. It doesn’t just come off the top of my head. Usually.

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4 responses to “Bang a Gong, Get It On

  1. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Sleep when you’re dead.

    Seriously. Just have another cup of coffee in the morning.

    M & B – Your… your computer’s down? With your music? How… how do you survive? My sympathies.

  2. Thank you, TK…no one understands my pain but you.

  3. Also, shut up about getting it once a week. I’m in a long relationship and at one point we went 7 months due to exhaustion and opposite schedules. I feel have no pity.

  4. Wait, Sleepless’ wife WANTS to have sex and he’s … tired?!?

    Listen, four years is nothing. Even a baby is nothing. Wait until the tyke is seven and interrupts “business time” with precocious sayings like, “Well you two have been busy” (true story.)

    I hear these stories all the time about women whose husbands aren’t fulfilling their needs. That’s just a crime. We’re only on this earth for, what 80, 90 years? Every love-making minute is precious. Get busy, Sleepless!

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