Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
I am about to get married to the most wonderful man. I am so happy! I only wish my twin sister could be happy for me. I’ve asked her what’s wrong and she tells me nothing, but meanwhile, she rolls her eyes during fittings, she shrugs when I ask if she likes something. I wish I didn’t need her approval, but I do. She’s been by my side since the beginning and we’ve always done everything together. But it’s as if she wants no part of my day. I’m heart broken.
To tell you the truth, ever since Brad and I have gotten serious, my sister, Hailey, has been weird. Not mean, but not warm either. She says she thinks Brad’s a great guy, so I know it’s not that. I don’t know, maybe if she had someone serious for herself, but Hailey goes through men like others go through breath mints. So, if she doesn’t want a serious relationship, why is she acting jealous over mine? Do I just start leaving her out, or do I try to say something again? Should I get my parents involved? What should I do?
By the way, could you NOT give me a mix filled with bitchy sister references? I’d actually like your selections of cool wedding music. Thanks.
Your Biggest Fan,
First of all, I’m really hoping you made up the names in this letter. Twins named Holly and Hailey? No wonder your sister is having a bitch of a time separating here. And btw, that’s a big part of what’s happening here. You two have been THE unit since, well, birth…but now you’re coupling with someone else, and she probably feels left out in the dust. Yes, you’re trying to include her, but it’s no longer the Holly and Hailey show. Even worse, YOU’RE getting all the attention as the blushing bride and she resents riding on your wedding dress train.
In short, your sister’s acting like an immature, short-sighted, lil’ bitch. And what a shame because she’s not only damaging what “should” be a magical time for you, but casting a dark cloud on her future relationship with you and her brother-in-law. I use the quotes around should because, let’s face it, happy occasions never go as planned. What should bring out the best in people can actually bring out their worst. Case in point: your twin from hell.
So, what to do? As much as I’d like to tell you to bitch slap her down the aisle and back again, you should probably act more mature than she has towards you. Sit her down with no one else around and tell her how you feel – that her heart isn’t in this with you, that she’s killing pieces of your happiness with every apathetic answer and eye roll. Give her specifics, because otherwise, she’ll try to blow you off. If she still trys to discount your examples, tell her this, “Listen, I’m not looking for a fight or to create problems. This is how I feel with you and that should be valid enough.” Use your own words, of course…because being her twin means you probably know her better than anyone, right? Reassure her that no one can replace her role as your sister. If that doesn’t turn it around, then you may need to lessen her involvement in the wedding plans and have your mom give her a talkin’ to.
Or send her my way. I’d love to set her straight. Hopefully, it doesn’t come to any of that…because I promise, what I have to say won’t be so darm pretty. One last thing…this day is about you and Brad – not you and your sister. Good luck.
10. “It’s Good to Be in Love,” (Frou Frou) Details.
09. “Love is All,” (The Rapture) Echoes.
08. “Crazy for You,” (Adele) 19.
07. “Cigarettes, Wedding Bands,” (Band of Horses) Sub Pop’s 20th Anniversary Collection.
06. “Passenger Seat,” (Death Cab for Cutie) Transatlanticism.
05. “For You,” (Duncan Sheik) Daylight.
04. “Sweetheart,” (Jont) Supernatural.
03. “I Was Made for You,” (She & Him) Volume One.
02. “The Planets Bend Between Us,” (Snow Patrol) A Hundred Million Suns.
01. “Siren Song,” (Bat for Lashes) Two Suns.
PS: You have no idea how hard it was for me not to put Iron & Wine’s “Such Great Heights” into this mix. Why didn’t I? Because I have to recognize that I tend to get a bit stuck on certain favorites and recycle them more than I should on my mixes. So there. I’m growing. Happy now???