Mom of the Living Dead

Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,

I’m writing to you to ask if I should be concerned over something going on with my kid.  My 12-year-old daughter is obsessed with vampires.  She got hooked after reading the Twilight series and now only wants to wear black, pretend  her bed is a coffin, and sneaks my bright red lipstick and face powder so she looks more “vamp” (her words, not mine).  I know girls go through phases, but this is getting out of hand.  What do you think about this, and what should I do?


Mom of the Living Dead

Dear Mom of the Living Dead  (that’s funny, btw),

I could throw a bunch of psychobabble in your direction, marrying together classic developmental physiological milestones with psychological stage theory – and throw in a bit of Jungian archetypal symbolism as an amuse bouche just to keep it interesting.  But kitten, the short answer here is this: don’t worry about it. It’s a phase.  Don’t ignore her or get your knickers all in a twist over it.  The bigger deal you make of this, the more you fan the flames of drama. 

She’s in the first throws of adolescence (lucky you) so imagine you get to live a version of Halloween everyday, meaning, she’s going to be trying on different identities  to see what feels right.  All normal, by the way.  She’s also testing you, to see if you’re going to love and accept her no matter what.  Underneath the way-too-thick black eyeliner and smeared red lipstick (we can all thank Robert Smith from The Cure for that priceless combination), she wants to know if you’re going to still be there for her, even as she abandons the little girl she used to be. 

Also, the whole vampire thing is nothing new…in my day, everyone was going ape-shit over Anne Rice novels and listening to Bauhaus on a constant loop.  Most people, including your daughter, will merely dip their toe into the whole goth scene (short for “Gothic”) – be viewed as posers by the die-hards – and find some other costume to wear shortly after.  If her vampiric fixation begins to interfere with her school work or if she becomes increasingly isolated, then it’s time to worry and you may need to seek counseling at that time.  And even then, the issue is not vampires or wearing all black or listening to maudlin music – it’s classic depression, which teenage girls are especially susceptible.  Write back if it gets to that point, and I’ll help you find some resources. 

So that’s that scaredy cat. Enjoy the ride. Oy.

Oh, and here’s a mix to get you up to speed…

Old School Selections

10.  “Bloodletting (The Vampire Song),”  (Concrete Blonde) Bloodletting.

09. “Bela Lugosi’ Dead,” (Bauhaus) Bauhaus Singles.

08. “Taste of Blood,” (Mazzy Star) She Hangs Brightly.

07. “We Hunger,” (Siouxsie and the Banshees) Hyaena.

06. “If I was Your Vampire,” (Marilyn Manson) Eat Me, Drink Me.

05. “Burn,” (The Cure) Join the Dots: B-Sides and Rarities, 1978-2001.

Stuff Your Daughter Probably Likes

04. “Supermassive Black Hole,” (Muse) Twilight , Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.

03. “My Immortal,” (Evanescence) Fallen.

02. “Vampires Will Never Hurt You,” (My Chemical Romance) I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love.

01. “Satin in a Coffin,” (Modest Mouse) Good News for People Who Love Bad News.




5 responses to “Mom of the Living Dead

  1. PLeeeeeeeeeze. I have been a die hard hippie, punk, and a little bit of everything else. I excaped from my window at night when I was 14 to get wasted and still won a scholarship from Congress to go abroad. Tell your reader to get the hell over it and just support that demon child.

  2. Well, no need, after such an eloquent diatribe.

    As always, thanks for stopping by, Ms. E 😉

  3. Dear Ms Mix & Bitch

    I think you could add that, one day, about 20 years from now, her daughter will finally appreciate her. OK, if I’m honest, it might only happen posthumously, but it will happen.

    It took my mother getting cancer for me to get it. I finally realized how much she had done for me. But I got it. That’s the point.

    If you want to read about my wonderful mother, click here:

    Keep up with the good advice!


  4. That’s a really good point. Thanks for bringing that up – and for sharing about your mom.

  5. I went through a Gothic phase as well… it was after my parents divorced when I was 13. Thankfully, my Mother would buy me “silver” lipstick (she told me it looked better than the black one I was wearing at the time) instead of giving me lectures. She would tell me that I was beautiful inside and out, always, no matter what I wore. Now we look back at that time and laugh, but I remember how she treated me… you are right about that, Ms. Mix!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s