Mama Said Knock You Out

 

Dear Ms Mix & Bitch,

I’ve had it. My children have officially gotten on my last nerve and I am contemplating selling them for science experiments. Nobody told me that having kids was this much heartache and work. I’m frazzled and annoyed! How many sticker charts can I make and positive strokes can I give them before my plastic smile melts into a pool of waxy goo?

Okay. I’m all better now.

Not so long ago I realized that my stress is greatly relieved by (the dreaded) exercise! I not only bore my neighbors to tears with my constant chatter while they exercise in my basement gym, but I actually feel better in the end. Probably a combination of gentle nodding from understanding girlfriends and loud rock music (hello, AC/DC!). I’m a child of the 80’s and early 90’s. Do you have any inspirational music that will keep me going and allow me to immerse myself into a world without timeouts and penalties as I exercise my heart out?

Yours Truly,

Rockin Mama with Attitude

Dear Rockin’ Mama,

Okay, first of all, I’m in need of some prescription or vino therapy after just READING your letter, nevermind living it.  So let’s just pause a moment, do that deep cleansing breath crap, and appreciate how well you’re doing under pressure.  Really.  Why do I say that?  Because without even knowing  the details (like how old or how many kids you have), I can tell from your positive parenting efforts (the gold star chart gave you away sista) that you’re taking your job as a parent very seriously and that you’re not giving yourself enough credit. Most moms don’t. 

The dirty little secret of parenthood is that so much of the job sucks ass.  For every Hallmark-inspired, cutie-patootie, aaww moment you get, there are thousands more which resemble minimum wage grunt work.  So kudos to you for not falling for the stupid-American-pet-trick of “I can do it all myself” and  instead, reaching outside yourself for some self-care, such as talking to a friend and exercising. Sure beats my stand-bys of booze, pills, and man-whores, but I digress  😉

My advice? Find even more opportunities to take care of yourself.  Other favorites of mine? Any part of my body getting rubbed works for me.

So in honor of kick-ass chicks just like yourself, I am happy to provide you with the perfect 80s/90s-inspired workout mix for ya. 

PS: While I’m happy to accommodate the specificity of your request, I’m going to steer you AWAY from the AC/DC a bit to some other noteworthy, yet still mainstream, hits of that era.

10.  “Sunday Bloody Sunday ,”  (U2)   War.

09.  “Cult of Personality,” (Living Colour) Everything is Possible.

08. “Lithium,” (Nirvana)  Nevermind.

07. “Stop,”  (Jane’s Addiction)  Ritual de lo Habitual.

06. “Man in the Box,” (Alice in Chains)  Greatest Hits.

05. “Suck My Kiss,” (Red Hot Chili Peppers) RHCP GT.

04. “Mama Said Knock You Out,” (LL Cool J) The Def Jam Recordings.

 03. “Head Like a Hole,” (Nine Inch Nails)  Pretty Hate Machine.

02. “Alive,”  (Pearl Jam)  Ten.

01. “Enter Sandman,” (Metallica) Metallica.

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2 responses to “Mama Said Knock You Out

  1. Ohmygod! This is my life too. Thanks for nixing the AC/DC. Am currently downloading the rockin’ tunes, Ms M&B. You’re fab.

  2. Use the iTunes link on my site to download your music, and I’ll do a lap dance for you too 😉

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