None of the professors in my college ever looked like this.
Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
I’m a 19-year-old guy who is about to enter his second year of college, and I’m not looking forward to it very much. The school is great and I have a lot of really cool friends. I’m probably going to sound like a complete pussy, but fuck it. I can’t get over my ex-girlfriend. What makes it complicated is that she’s the lead graduate assistant for my major, which means I’m going to see her all the time.
When we first got together, I thought it was just going to be a hook up for a night or two, especially since she’s almost thirty and I was barely eighteen when we met. In fact, she told me she was not into relationships. I had heard she went through guys – especially young guys like me – like Kleenex, but I didn’t care. I lost my virginity to her, and really fell in love with her. Considering we were together most of last school year and part of this summer, I felt she was over the whole “man meat” phase. But about a month ago, she informed me that while she really cares about me, and thinks I’m one of the smartest guys she’s ever met, she doesn’t want to be tied down anymore. And I’m utterly heartbroken over it. I’ve tried to win her back, but it’s obvious I’m just making her uncomfortable now.
I don’t get it…one minute we were madly in love, and then suddenly, that’s it. She’s done. Game over.
My friends tell me I’ll get over it soon, that I should start dating again, yada yada yada. None of them have ever been in love. Maybe I should date, but maybe I should just lay low for a while, and try to win her back again in a couple of months. You’re an older woman…what would it take to win you back if someone wanted you bad enough? Thanks for listening, by the way. Your blog rocks.
Signed, Seriously Damaged and Trying Hard Not to Be Bitter.
Well, I hate to sound repetitive, but your friends are right. Time – and meeting new women – heals the wounds of a broken heart. I really get that you believe you will never love anyone like her again. And you’re right and wrong on this front. You will fall in love again, but the next gal will probably be completely different than your tutor love.
Oh and one more thing…a life lesson, if you will…
If you listen carefully to what someone says on the first date, I guarantee you will know what will break you two up in the end. She told you from the start that she’s not a “relationship person.” Turns out she was telling you the truth. They all do. Example of my last three heart breaks:
1. College love “Ethan” told me he never looks into the future when it comes to relationships. Sure enough, he would never plan a future with me. So I left. Took me years to get over it.
2. Old high school boyfriend turned post college revival show “Jake” was funny as hell, but spent our first date putting down half the people at the party. Turns out he was just as mean spirited in the everyday as well. So buh-bye!
3. My early twenties flame “Chad” told me he’s hurt most every woman who has cared for him. He was right. He hurt me plenty. And I’m still a little bit mad at myself for not listening to my initial instincts on that one.
Give it time, sweetie. And write me again in a couple of months. I bet you have a whole new perspective when school gets going – whether Grad Girl is around or not.