Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
My Aunt has recently moved in this total creep of a 28 year old into my grandmother’s house (She takes care of my 74 year old grandmother and has a 2 year old daughter). She has always had bad relationships, but now she has moved this guy into the house after he just got out of jail and had nowhere to live and no car. He recently just got a job and drives a company van, but he speaks to her on the phone like she is his slave.
I have met him, he’s not bad looking and I bet he could do better than her as far as the looks department goes (not that she is bad looking, but she is pretty overweight). How can I let her know that this guy is using her without hurting her feelings and getting shut out of her life?
Dear Niece of Stupid, Lonely Woman with No Self-Esteem,
You’ve been a loyal fan of my site for a long, long time – and I really do appreciate all your support. But as you know, that doesn’t mean I’m going to blow smoke up your ass. I don’t roll that way, honey. So I’m going to tell you what you already know.
No matter what you say, she will – AT BEST – not listen to you, and at worst, shut you out. Why? Because you’re not the one with the cock. You know it and I know it. And unfortunately, that wins most every time.
Does that mean you should keep your mouth shut? No. Just be prepared for her to hate what you say because your aunt will know, deep down, that it’s all true.
So how do you make sure she’s just annoyed and not banning you from the summer family BBQ?
It’s all in the delivery.
If you spew out that he’s a low-life creep that’s just using her, then it’s all over. If you tell her that you’re concerned about his intentions because he doesn’t treat her like she deserves, your aunt will probably still argue with you, but part of her may listen. Calmly mention a couple of examples if she acts like she doesn’t know what you’re talking about, but don’t push it. Just let her know you love her, that her daughter needs her to be a strong example, and that you are here whenever she may need you.
Oh, and if I were you, I’d keep an extra close eye on your little 2-year-old cousin. Be the rock of support and strength for her that her mom may not be able to be in this crap-heap of a situation. And keep the asshole far, far away.
Good luck, sweetie.
10. “Tell Your Story Walking,” [Deb Talan] Sincerly.
9. “Effect and Cause,” [The White Stripes] Icky Thump.
8. “Everybody Knows,” [Concrete Blonde] Still in Hollywood.
7. “Ted, Just Admit It,” [Jane’s Addiction] Nothing’s Shocking.
6. “Survivalism,” [Nine Inch Nails] Year Zero.
5. “Run, Pig, Run,” [Queens of the Stone Age] Era Vulgaris.
4. “Straight Jacket Fashion,” [Chevelle] Vena Sera.
3. “Fire Coming Out of the Monkey’s Head,” [Gorillaz] Demon Days.
2. “Man or Animal,” [Audioslave] Out of Exile.
1. “Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog,” [Johnny Cash] Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison.