Ah, finally! Rachel from Sexy Spoon has graciously agreed to bring her culinary blogging magic to lil’ ol’ us here at Mix Tape Therapy. Of course, she’s tackling something we’ve all gone through…feeling dumped before a potential relationship has even gotten started. Which sucks, but happens…Anyway, without further delay, here’s Ms. Sexy herself…
Intense Comfort Cookies for When McSteamy Doesn’t Call
We’ve all been there – you have a great first date, you talk about plans for a second date, and then poof! you never hear from the guy (or woman) again. What’s with that? We have all been on both sides of that equation and it sure isn’t a pleasant place to be. In recent years, I have concluded that honesty, with a good dash of kindness, is the best policy. I no longer say, “Sure, it’d be fun to hang out again” if I don’t actually mean it. Mostly I do this because, as I recollect over the past decade of dating, some of the most difficult moments for me have been waiting for a guy to call.
(The ADD starts at an early age)
I hate waiting – at the airport, Starbucks, Urban Outfitters, Whole Foods, and so on. I especially disdain waiting for him to call. We live in modern times – can’t I be the one to call? I’m all for equality (except on the first date, when I think the guy should pay. Always.), but even so, I can’t pretend that I don’t live and love in a much greater, more complicated time, when yes sometimes means no, “I’ll call you” means “goodbye,” and calling a guy after a lovely date often means “I’m desperate.”
So how does a young woman pass the time? What does she do to ease the bruise of rejection? I have a suggestion: chocolate. Let me explain…
(Not that Camp David)
When I lived in Northeastern China, I spent most Saturday nights at this bizarre club called Camp David. All the Westerners would congregate there on the weekends, along with a good handful of local nouveau riche Chinese, Koreans, and members of the Russian mafia. I met some of the most amusing men there – the point guard of the Kuwaiti national basketball team, a Brazilian airplane engineer, and a very cute, very brash Canadian English teacher who I will call McSteamy. He had blond hair, blue eyes, a coy smile, and an adorable accent, eh. We met on the dance floor, during a Shakira song, and by the end of the evening I found myself outside Camp David in the subzero night, my hands kept warm in his coat pockets, as he kissed me. You know those people who kiss you and electricity pulses through your body? It’s something chemical that defies explanation. I gave McSteamy my number and he promised to call.
(I am blonde, hot guy. Worship me or perish)
Flash forward three weeks. No call. I had spent the first couple days in the fuzzy pink glow of attraction. This quickly devolved into indignation, followed by anger. To distract myself, I ate huge bowls of noodles in black bean sauce and large plates of pork and cilantro dumplings. Most importantly, I ate a lot of chocolate. A Hershey bar with almonds tasted like a little bit of heaven. I still continued going to Camp David, always looking out of the corner of my eye for him.
About a week before I was supposed to leave China, I got a call from McSteamy. He was coming to town and wanted to book a hotel room for us. He thought I needed a one night stand before I left China. He didn’t even apologize that he hadn’t called.
I laughed – was he on crack? I had met him ONCE. He was a great kisser and all, but seriously? A one night stand? You’ve got to be kidding. McSteamy has become McSketchy. And so I simply hung up the phone.
(Don’t even think about fucking with Ms. Sexy Spoon, punk)
Now I don’t mean to imply that self-comforting yourself (maybe a different phrase here?) with chocolate is the best way to deal with despair. I would also suggest going for a run, calling your mom, having dinner with friends, or taking a yoga class. As a compliment to those other activities, I suggest baking the cookies below – I could have used one back in my China days.
Intense Comfort Cookies for when McSteamy Doesn’t Call
· 1 c all purpose flour
· ½ tsp baking soda
· ¼ tsp salt
· 1 tsp cinnamon
· 1 ¼ stick butter at room temp (if it’s not at room temp, throw it in the microwave for a couple seconds)
· 1/3 c sugar
· 1/3 c brown sugar
· 1 large egg
· 1 tsp vanilla extract
· 1/3 c chocolate chips (bittersweet or semisweet, whatever you find more comforting)
· 1 c oats
· ½ c dried cranberries (preferably unsweetened)
Before you do anything, go put on a comfy pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Sweep your hair up into a messy bun. Wash your hands. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
Then, put on some music – I would recommend Bon Jovi (Slippery When Wet) or the Black Eyed Peas (Elephunk) – what songs are less important than the fact you can play them at high volume and sing along.
Put the sugars and butter in a bowl. With a wooden spoon, mix together until smooth (if necessary, put the spoon aside and get in there with your hands and mix the butter and sugar until creamy). Next, add the egg and vanilla, beating vigorously with the wooden spoon until everything is well combined.
At this point, take a break. Send a text message to your best friend to see what she’s up to. Call your mom.
Measure out the flour in a 2-cup measuring cup. Stir in with a fork the baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Pour the flour mixture along with the oats, cranberries, and chocolate chips into the eggy butter mixture and combine.
At this point, you are feeling better. You’re bouncing around the kitchen, using the wooden spoon as a microphone. Grease the baking sheet (FYI, you’ll probably need to do two batches). Roll the dough into balls with your hands, about 1 heaping T each. Place each ball about 2 inches apart on the baking sheet.
Bake for about 15 minutes or until the edges are just starting to turn golden. Remove from oven and let cool. Put the first batch on a plate and repeat the baking steps with the rest of the dough.
This makes about 14 cookies (if you don’t eat half the dough before you get to the baking bit).
Eat a warm cookie – savor the cinnamony, chocolately goodness. The oatmeal makes the cookie feel more substantial. And with the cranberries, it’s almost like you’re eating a healthy cookie. Either way, they taste good. And surprise, don’t you feel a little better?