Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
My friend Sarah and I have always been very close. She’s sweet and funny and forgetful and ditzy. I used to find all that stuff kind of endearing. Not anymore.
She’s madly in love with this guy – her first real boyfriend – and now it’s like I don’t even exist anymore. She doesn’t always call me back and I hardly see her either. It doesn’t help that the guy I thought I was in love with blew me off. And while the guy isn’t worth crying too hard over, I am bummed not to have my own fairy tale/happy ending like Sarah. I know we’re only 21-years-old, but how come it has happened for her and not for me? I am so angry with her, I can’t even see straight. Am I being a bitch? Am I just jealous? Or does she suck as badly as I think she does. Signed, Enraged and Plotting Murder
Are you being a bitch?
Are you jealous?
Is she as bad as you think?
Yes, but cut her some slack. It’s her first love.
There’s no question that Sarah needs to learn how to balance love and friendship. Most of us girls learn these lessons back in high school, so she’s a lil’ late coming to the cool kids’ lunch table here. Just break in to your momma’s medicine cabinet, pop a Vicodin, chill out, and talk to her calmly about how you feel. If you two are really friends, you’ll work it out.
(I can’t believe women still believe in this shit. Ever hear of The Cinderella Complex? No? Ya see…THAT’S what happens when all you Generation Yers thumb your nose at feminism. Tisk tisk.)
As far as the whole “happy ending” thing, remember this is her FIRST boyfriend and she’s 21-years-old. She may feel it’s forever, and she should, but what’s more likely is that Sarah will have a few more fairy tales and frog princes before she’s ready to hang up her magic Princess shoes.
(Dammit, now all the foot freaks who troll my blog now have another post to spew to. Yuuuuck.)
Your time will come as well, and after the endorfin high dulls to a low hum, you’ll look back on your carefree college years and lament over them “good ol’ dayz.” Meanwhile, feeling jealous is human…deciding to see the big picture here and showing some paitence and character (or not) will determine what kind of woman you want to be. Choose wisely.
Speaking of “big picture” remember what John Lennon said: “Life’s what happens while you’re making other plans.” No matter what’s going on for you, this is YOUR time. Otherwise known as your only-sanctioned-selfish-phase…the next one doesn’t come until the kids are off to college, so buck up and get a clue.
(John and Yoko going through heroin withdrawal. Now THAT will get ya to live in the now, motherfuckers)
And hey, if you don’t like your life, make a plan to change it. You’re the architect of your own misery or happiness. The choice is yours.
Here’s a mini mix for you camper. I’m too damm tired to lay it down right.
5. “Stupid Girl,” [Garbage] Garbage.
4. “Jealousy,” [Stereophonics] You Gotta Go There to Come Back.
3. “Happy Ending,” [MIKA] Life in Cartoon Motion.
2. “Fairytale of New York,” [The Pogues Featuring Kirsty MacColl] The Best of The Pogues.
1. “Belladonna,” [Stevie Nicks] Belladonna.