Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
My problem is both simple and complicated: how do I heal my broken heart? I was with Jarred for just over a year. He broke it off suddenly, saying he needed space, when actually he had fallen in love with someone else. It’s been over a year now. He’s engaged and I’m barely able to go on a date. I know I sound ridiculous saying this, but I feel as if I’ve had the love of my life here and gone at twenty-two. What do I do now?
I would never mock your pain. And I’m sure you’ve heard the formula by now: take however long the relationship was, and then expect it to take twice as long to get over the person. In my case, for the ones that really got to me, it sometimes took even longer. No comfort, I know.
All I can tell you is this: I promise you…really, I PROMISE YOU, you will get over Jarred in time. You’re not just smarting from someone leaving you – he betrayed you with another. So now your trust in men and yourself has been shaken to the core. You are still in deep mourning over the loss of this man. Consider this part of your rite of passage into adulthood, for better or worse.
You will think I am trite for writing this, but it’s true: This will make you stronger. You are becoming wiser. Just don’t let this heartbreak become an excuse to harden you – or to stop living or trying. Because then fear wins, and that is more pathetic than any failed romance anyday. I may not know you, but you’re better than that.
I will give you a parting mix in which to drown your sorrows. It is your right. But when it’s done, then do me a favor and go out. Meet people. Be open to love…it will not come the same way it came before. Each one is completely different. But it will be your own…
1. “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” [Bonnie Raitt] Luck of the Draw.
2. “Scar on the Sky,” [Chris Cornell] Carry On.
3. “I Just Don’t Think I’ve Ever Get Over You,” [Colin Hay] Garden State Soundtrack.
4. “The Blower’s Daughter,” [Damien Rice] O.
5. “Unraveling,” [Deb Talan] A Bird Flies Out.
6. “Waiting,” [The Devlins] Waiting.
7. “Everything Reminds Me of Her,” [Elliott Smith] Figure 8.
8. “Melancholy Melody,” [Esthero] Wikked Lil’ Grrrls.
9. “Near to You,” [A Fine Frenzy] One Cell in the Sea.
10. “Sullen Girl,” [Fiona Apple] Tidal.
Now at this point, you’re gonna notice that I just plunge head first into the cess pool of self-pity known as country music. But honesty, no one does it better than these country guys and gals:
11. “Love Hurts,” [Gram Parsons] Gram Parsons Grievous Angel.
12. “Me and Bobby McGee,” [Janis Joplin] Pearl. (I know, she’s more blues than country, but coming from Port Arthur Texas, she counts as country to me).
13. “Hurt,” [Johnny Cash] American IV – The Master.
14. “Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Life,” [Johnny Cash] Live from Folsom Prison.
15. “Crying,” [k.d. lang] Live By Request.
16. “Crazy,” [Patsy Cline] Sentimentally Yours.
17. “Before I’m Over You,” [Loretta Lynn] Honky Tonk Girl.
18. “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind,” [Dolly Parton] Ultimate Dolly Parton.
And remember this…