Want to really burn your significant other, co-workers, or anyone else that may have some semblance of trust for you left? Here’s Ms. Mix & Bitch’s Top Ten Hoaxs on this very, very special day…
5. For the Single Gal in a Committed Relationship
Ask one of your married-with-children girlfriends if you can borrow one of her positive prego tests (believe me, we all have one saved). Then leave it on the bathroom countertop for your boyfriend to see (but don’t say anything – too obvious). Watch him sweat it out for the day and see how long it takes him to work up the nerve to ask you about that karma-on-a-stick surprise.
4. For the Nosy Bugger
Invite your most meddling “friends” over, then rigg your medicine cabinet, underwear drawer, or other private places in your house so that if-and-when they open for a sneak peak, an alarm goes off or a bunch of eggs or other breakables come rolling out. Not only are they embarrassed by your trickery and chicanery, but you’ll know who’s the nosiest fuck in your farmhouse.
3. For the Stalker Spouse
Buy a journal and write a bunch of hot-and-heavy entries, detailing your illicit “affair” with your spouse’s most insidious rival. Extra bonus points if you open up a phony email account and send yourself dirty text messages. Make sure that the last entry says something like “April Fool’s Baby Doll.” Otherwise, you may head for divorce court and that ain’t so funny.
2. For the Annoying Co-Worker
Use a 3M Post-it note placed underneath someones’s computer mouse – ensure that it covers the ball or the optical sensor on the bottom. When they go to use the mouse, it won’t work. On the 3M Post-it simply write April Fools.
1. For the Co-Worker You Want Fired
From his or her computer, download a shitload of bad porn (is there such a thing??) and make sure to make the most offensive picture the monitor’s background and screen saver. Then send porn links from the co-workers email to all the bosses and board of directors.
You’ll burn in hell, but who cares? Better parties anyways…