10 Worst Baby Names of 2007: What were These Parents Thinking?

(Cover your ears, kids…these name truly suck weinis)
The following was swiped through MSN’s site. A light chuckle for your Thursday A.M….
People like to get creative when it comes to selecting the perfect name for their new arrivals. But in the quest to be unique, some kids get stuck with monikers that do more than make them stand out in a crowd. Here’s The Nest Baby’s picks for the most questionable choices from the past year.

 gm01.jpg gretchen mol image by gates71

Ptolemy: The only other one we know of is an ancient Greek astronomer, mathematician, and man extraordinaire. Actress Gretchen Mol reached a little too far back in history for this Mediterranean-inspired choice. No one will be able to pronounce it, and what happens when the kid studies his namesake in school?

kevin_nealon.jpg Kevin Nealon image by w_cowart

Magnus: Sounds too much like a prophylactic, volcanic matter, or a dated albeit then-popular Tom Selleck TV drama. Comic Kevin Nealon must be playing a joke on all of us with this choice.

bad-baby-finger.jpg baby image by esojv

E-: E…what? You’d think if you had to name your kid after a letter, Jay would be much better than this one, which was selected by parents in Washington. And while we’re (grudgingly) willing to accept the use of apostrophes in baby names, we can’t say the same for the hyphen. At least not when there isn’t any more name to follow it.

jenna_elfman_21.jpg Jenna image by bradellis_bucket

Story: Actress Jenna Elfman’s pick. It just doesn’t make sense and certainly won’t start a literary trend. Article, Essay, or Narrative, anyone? Every baby has a tale to tell, just not this way.

Milla.jpg Milla image by blahby_2006

Ever: This is an adverb, not even an adjective or a noun, which do okay as names if you’re in a pinch. It’s going to get confusing when actress mom Milla Jovovich scolds the kid, “Ever, don’t ever do that again!”

brooke burke barely

Heaven Rain: The only good news here: Brooke Burke’s two older daughters are named Neriah and Sierra Sky. Though little Heaven’s got a pretty lofty title to live up to, she’ll fit right in at home.

drea.jpg Drea De Matteo image by Ladiesknight

Alabama: The trend of naming kids after locations obviously appealed to actress Drea De Matteo, but she’s not even from the Southern state. We do hope she’s going to be called Allie for short and turns out to be good at geography.

white_poodle_red_paint.jpg WASN'T ME! image by RickyRider

Princess: Every little girl is a princess to her parents, but it’s a secret nickname. It’s also a good name for a little fluffy white dog. Prince pulls off the male version because he’s a rock star, but this baby, daughter of model Jordan, is set to be spoiled. (Don’t get us started on Tiaamii, her middle name,…)

JonHeder011.jpg JON HEDER!! image by imapunksowht

Evan: Don’t go ballistic: Evan is a great name…for a boy. We know many wonderful Evans. But in this case, Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder bestowed it on his baby girl. Sorry, it’s so not unisex.

Superman: No explanation necessary for why this New Zealand name made the list, but how about the story behind it? The parents’ first choice was 4Real (as in, “when we saw him on the ultrasound, we realized he was for real”), but government officials didn’t go for it. Mom and dad settled on Superman but insist they’ll still refer to him as 4Real. Way to get the last word in.


will.jpg Satan image by ihatepb_bucket

(Note from Ms. Mix & Bitch: Actually the all-time worst name I heard in 2007 isn’t even listed here. Some couple in Australia had the balls to name their son, Satan. Yeah, I know. How pretentious. Now everyone with a little shit for a kid’s gonna think they spawned the Prince of Darkness. As if.)


72 responses to “10 Worst Baby Names of 2007: What were These Parents Thinking?

  1. Called my mother to thank her. She insisted on Elina, while Daddy was going for Eleonora. (And I thought that was strange.)…but E* works.

  2. Evan (and a girl)

    Hey! 23 years ago, my parents named their baby girl Evan. I love my name; wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s certainly not the first boy name to be co-opted for girls. 🙂

  3. I met a couple at a party one time who called their child “Molly”. No problem. Until I learned that her full name, being the child of science geeks, is molybdenum. As in the element on the periodic table. I had to resist the urge to stuff them both into a locker right there and then, which is surely what is going to happen to Molly, when the local bullies at school find out her full name.

  4. Well, about Molly, the bullies would actually have to know something about the periodic table if they were going to tease her about it, so it’s not that bad

  5. Amanda Hugankiss

  6. My Friend Carlie Named her gawwjus baby girl Luella Lauerie Higgs =] Lool and her third child Candie Tazmin Higgz

  7. Oscar Roy Doster

  8. my grandmothers was sofia and my mothers name was danielle so they danifia

  9. Pollyanna Lucy Holmes-Baker

  10. the worst name ever has to be: ima whore. im not even kidding. some asshole parents actually named their kid after a bart simpson joke.

  11. Al Caholic
    Oliver Clothesoff
    Naught E. Bishop
    Harry Pitts
    Fanny Whiffer
    Maya Buttreeks
    Hugh Jass
    Mike Rotch
    Doctor Love
    Acne Fountain

  12. my best friend named ivana humpalot i kid you not

  13. Brock E. Lee

  14. What the hell is wrong with you people?
    These names are fucked up!
    I feel bad for your kids!!!!

  15. My cousin is called Indiana Pebbles Bonner-Osman

  16. My name’s Elora..

    But I like it. Theres nothing wrong with my name. (:

  17. my names lynsey.
    its such a unique spelling.
    but it’s awesome. 🙂

  18. elora shut the fuck up no one cares

  19. i love my name gary 🙂 🙂
    And i have two best friends who have awesome names too
    i love them

    • Gary isa horrible name for a child, in my opinion. I currently live in Japan and I told someone I had an uncle named “Gary”. I couldn’t figure out why they were laughing until they said “Your uncle’s name is Diahrea!?”

      Apparently, the Japanese word for “diarea” sounds like “Gary” (ge-ri).
      So yeah, never move to Japan. If you do, change your name. 🙂
      Gotta “run,” see ya.

  20. My friend’s mom knows this lady who named her child Penelope. Not that bad except she thought it was pronounced like the melon cantelope

  21. the name “Ever” is an awesome name i think.

  22. I named my daughter Elora and I still think it’s the best name ever. I have another one on the way and I don’t know if I can top that one.

  23. What in the freaking world were these crack heads (the parents) i mean seriously i would kill my self if my names was Hugh Jass or mya buttreeks!!! poor kids lol hahah i really want to know what goes on in these parents heads when they name their children!

  24. i have a name its poop poop pooooooop and thats my name.

    • you can always change it. it relly needs changing. hope you don’t do the same thing to a child of yours, it’s even a bad dog name

  25. my names reigney brookelyn pronounced rainy but i like it, i don’t have to worry about anybody confusing me with anyone else

  26. Evan is a girl’s name.

  27. puss in boots…you’re so polite 🙂

    I’m gonna give my kids 4 names. then they can choose which one they like best 🙂 LOL they’re the one’s living the life. they should be able to choose 🙂

  28. I went to school with a girl Named Irish Jewel and that was kinde of cool, but the really weird name was Sky Blue Diamond, which wouldn’t have been so bad but it was a boy’s name. Some people are just plain cruel.

  29. My friend knows someone that’s called Polly Esther Cotton as a full name.

  30. how about a guy named beverly???

    Or a girl named Oreaspononius (pronounced Or-e-us-p-no-ni-us)…

  31. Evan is awesome for a girl!
    Give your kid a name that fits who you are and the lifestyle you live. If you do it will probably suit them just fine. If not they can change it. Names are not permanent. Please don’t be mean. Hugh Jass is gonna get beaten no matter who’s kid he is.

  32. I once remember reading about someone who named their kid Sasuke. Yes, after the Naruto character.

    And Magnus is an awesome name 😀

  33. I know someone called Jellina Marra Delphino-Orango. Delphino-Orango is her surname. The poor thing gets called Orange Jelly at school. I’ve also known a Vera Longbottom and August Merryweather. Oh dear.

  34. UM Evan Rachel Wood? Evan can be unisex, so stop

  35. I know a person named orangejello and he has a brother named lemonjello.

    • It can’t beat a chick I met years ago who introduced herself as Candace Apple, but goes by “Candy”… which is kinda cute… but her brother’s name was Adam?!?!?! She said they had fun with their names tho…

  36. I met a person called Richard Head. I kid you not.

    Also, I have heard of a person called:

    La-a. Pronounced La Dash A… Seriously…. La-a

  37. I know a girl who’s first name is Kattiestar. I kid you not. I’ve also heard of a person named Le-ah, pronounced Le Dash Ah. My name is pretty cool, though. It’s short for Alessandra. At least it doesn’t sound like I should be a superhero like Magnus.

  38. A kid in my class was named N8 (pronounced Nate) and his little sister was named Sal1 (pronounced Sa – lone, I pronounced it Sall, I thought the 1 was an L), a girl was named Le-a (La – dash – a) and her twin sister was Na-a (Na – dash – a). My dad had a girl come apply for a job with a name of Beskitbelle Hope (pronounced Basketball Hoop). I work with a girl named Mia-Vy. She’s Vietnamese, but her middle name is China (Mia-Vy China). I’m glad i have a generic name…

  39. CockE Doodle Roosterfart

    I once knew a kid who couldn’t stop masturbating. His name was Catfist!!! NO JOKE.

  40. i lovee my name,
    but my friend isn’t to lucky..
    his name is Richard Handler.

    we call him dick.

  41. errr… ever heard of the actress Evan Rachel Wood!? So um yeah, Evan is kind of a popular name for both boys and girls! It is too so unisex!
    I also had a friend named jerrica. She was named after a character in an american animated tv series called “Jem and the Holograms”

  42. my ex step dad went to school with a girl names Mary Christmas…there’s a New Zealand comedian named Jarred Christmas. my friend went to a chinese/waffle and chicken diner called Laquishachan’s (pronounced la-kwee-shah-chan). my name is too generic….but I’m almost glad it is now that I’ve seen what some kids are named…it’s just cruel

  43. The name Ever has been around longer than 2007. I named my son Ever back in 1999 after his father, grandfather, great-grandfather, etc. It is actually a Hispanic name that is fairly common in Mexico and beautiful in Spanish. Every time I tell someone my son’s name, they always say how cute, interesting, cool, etc. it is. I have also had other people name their children Ever after hearing the name from me. I don’t know about the other names, but I think you are wrong about this one. Everyone I know loves it!!!

  44. A friend of mine has a cousin named ,…’Justin Tyme’, and his middle name is ‘Nick’.

  45. I worked in the kind of job where tons of names came through daily. I’ve seen all kinds . . . Crystal Chandelier, Dick Glass (when you work on a last name first basis its Glass Dick), and even a lady born in the late 1800’s who’s name was Baby. Extremely lazy parents if you ask me. But I still think that Harry Lipschitz beats them all for the most repulsive name. Lots of the ones mentioned previously are pretty funny though. If I had a really bad name but it made people laugh, I think perhaps I could get used to it. But if it just grosses them out . . . I’d have to change my name! This is a nice thread for a few laughs.

  46. Yes, my name is Bandit. But now I’m kinda glad about it because Gerard Way (the lead singer of My Chemical Romance, my favorite band) has a daughter named Bandit Lee Way. No, the band is not my fave just because of that, BUT now I don’t feel like such a freak anymore.
    It’s kinda weird, all of my best friends have weird names too:
    October, Bloo, Tokio, Cinder, Larkin, December, and Crimson. We usually all go out together and laugh at the faces people make when they find out our names:)

  47. Not only was MY grandfather’s name Harry Pitts but my mom’s name was Le-Anne. She was 74 when she passed away, so hyphens aren’t new. I knew a kid named Oscar Meyer too. We just thought it was funny.

  48. My first name is very uncommon but i think its perfect my names Tessa

  49. I know a family whose names means an event. The mother’s name, Minnie Reasons.The only daughter, Forest Burns. One son(who was my brother’s best friend) Larry Quarles.Twin brothers, Richard and Warren Combs. The mother and daughter have passed on. The boys are still with us. If you see this …….Hello Larry Quarles. Hello Richard and Warren Combs of Oklahoma City Okla, from big “D” [Dallas, Tx]

  50. My husband wanted to name our kids Barry and Rose Busch, but I said no, I might have concider’ed Thornton for our son at one time.

  51. I have a friend who’s parents named her Periwinkle Blue Life. Sometimes she goes by Peri other times by Blue.

  52. as a pediatric nurse i get to hear some doozy baby names such as:
    twins named Ragina and Vagina pronounced (Va-gena)
    twins named Himalaya and Nepal
    a little boy named Justin Case
    and the best one yet a lady wanted to name her kid Chlamydia because she heard someone say it her doctor office

  53. I have been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i’m happy to convey that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to don’t forget this website and give it a look regularly.

  54. 30 years ago I was the only Morgan around. Now it’s completely popular. These “strange” names won’t seem so odd soon. My son’s name is Holden and I am pregnant with a girl that we are naming Evan. 🙂

  55. Well I am a girl and my name is Tysen. A lot of people laugh at my name and some think its cool that I have a boys name. In my opinion, I hate it.

  56. A friend of mine just named her son Rustin. Which isn’t so bad, until you consider the last name…. which is Steele. Yes, Rustin Steele. What in the hell.

  57. to all those paerents who give girls boy names or vise versa – wake the fuck up. Were you really set on that boy name hoping to get a boy but got a girl instead but still couldn’t let go of that name or think up a new one? I hope you get put through the same misery that poor child will recieve when they go to school.

  58. We had neighbors who named their daughter Corvette because that is where she was conceived. Other neighbors’ last name was Head and the dad’s name was Richard ie, Dick and the daughter’s name was Erin. The worst though is when the parents misspell the name like Hiedi instead of Heidi. I had that experience in my class. I also had Kerry Case. My dad insisted he had a classmate named Billy Shitz. The first important job parents have is to name their child. When they give them a strange name you get a glimpse as to what kind of parents they will be.

  59. Mike Hunt

  60. My dad wanted to name my older sister Toe Key Yoh, my mother did not find it amussing at all 🙂 I gave my daughter my name Rileigh and her doctors office still calls and says “Rileigh has an appointment tomorrow at 11 am, hope to see HIM there.” Um can’t you tell by the way it is spelled she is a GIRL!!

  61. i am the only one i have ever met with my name its stacianne no space or hyphen i get alot of complements on it

  62. what about Anita Peace? from Ohio?, and in Pittsburgh Kansas there a a family with the last name of Rabbit, 2 sons and a daughter, Jack, Peter, and Bunny! I swear to god its the truth !

  63. Happy Horse aka Lady Horse aka Director Horse aka Singin Girl aka coolgirlcute aka lipglossleah aka Tangled Fan!!!!!! XD

    My grandma taught a girl named Passion Butts, and she thought it was a joke.

  64. My bestfriend has a cousin named DaMario……Im gald to have a sensebul name 🙂

  65. My name is really unique. It’s Iyanah (eye-yauh-nuh) It means god is gracious or something like that. I used to know triplets named Holly-Wood, Raighne-Bow, and Sunny-Shine. Last I heard they all changed names to Holly,Raina,and Sunny. Poor girls……

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