Every so often, I get some fairly personal questions, asking about my background and experiences, etc. Completely understandable, considering this is essentially a one-sided fun house mirror I’m working from…so to assuage some and amuse others, here are a few answers to recent questions…
What qualifies YOU to give advice? Are you a real shrink or just posing as one?
Well, smart-ass, I’m neither a shrink nor a poser – and all you’d have to do is read my “About” section for this answer. But for the slow ones, here it goes…
I have a master’s degree and currently work as a co-therapist in a private mental health practice, which means I counsel under some else’s license until I earn my credentials.
That said, that’s not what’s happening here, cupcake. You come here for a nugget or two of good advice – and frankly, to be entertained by the shock factor. Oh, and to listen to some good tunes. Comprende? Occasionally, I get a serious issue through here – and I try to refer them to the proper authorities counseling services.
I’ve written in a couple of times, but you’ve never answered my questions. What’s your problem?
If I haven’t answered your question here, there’s usually two reasons why:
1) You’re asking something I’ve already addressed in someone else’s question. Which I tell you, BTW, so get off your ass and look through my not-so-ancient archive for it, or
2) I’m not giving any of you poor-excuses for human beings – otherwise known as pedophiles – any attention on my site. In fact, I DO forward your emails to the authorities, so fuck off and die. Really. There’s no helping you and I have no sympathy.
On one hand, you’re married with kids, but then you give advice on all this kink stuff. Which side is really you?
I don’t write the questions – I simply answer them. But while Japanese rope bondage ain’t my thing, I certainly have my own predilections.
Welcome to the world of a postmodern, complicated woman. I can tell from you question you haven’t met too many of us.
Get out more.
Do you believe that love lasts forever?
I think love lasts forever, but never in its purest form. It changes and mutates with time. Once I love someone – I mean, really love someone – I love them always. But that doesn’t mean the relationship lasts…oftentimes, relationships change or fade away. On rare occasions, it grows stronger. Love is the easy part – it’s the people that are a lot of work 😉
Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?
Depends on the day, but generally I consider myself an individualist with the heart of a revolutionary and the mind of a pragmatist. See above graphic for further explanation.
Would you ever meet someone you became acquainted with through your site in person?
Not on purpose. Sorry.
What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?
I was a professional matchmaker while living in New Orleans. I wasn’t very good at it, though, because I thought all the women were fabulous and too good for the loser guys I had for them through my agency’s service. And I’d tell them all the nitty gritty on each guy as well:
“Oh no, not that guy! He’s got a scorching case of herpes…”
“Oy vey kitty kat – that guy’s only right when he’s on his meds.”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s cute, but I hear from his ex that he can only lasts two minutes in the sack.”
Needless to say, the program never took off, and the only shidduchs (arranged marriages in Yiddish) I ever arranged were ones I did between friends on the side. So, there’s that…
What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done sexually?
I don’t kiss and tell. You want lewd and luscious details, go to College Call Girl’s blog (she’s listed to the right, honey-pie).
Thanks for the questions. Hope your appetites have been satisfied.