Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
“Quick question. How do you come up with the music mixes for the questions you get?”
Ah, now the truth will be revealed and you will discover how completely ape-shit-crazy your mixing mistress really is…
I talk to the iPod gods. And no, I don’t mean Steve Jobs.
I consult with my iPod the way other people consult their Magic 8 Ball.
But while ol’ black balls gives you the kind of answers you’d expect from your
ADD-afflicted older brother:
Outlook Not So Good
Reply Hazy, Try Again Later
Better Not Tell You Now
my iPod brings it just like your best girlfriend does every time. She gives me songs that perfectly mirror the predicament in question – and then offers a tuneful nugget or two of sage advice to lead the way.
Getting over a bad break-up?
Hit the wheel and out pops Martha Wainwright’s
B.M.F.A (Bloody, Motherfuckin’ Asshole).
Feeling depressed about gaining as much weight as a baby seal over Christmukkah? Well, your iPod mama goddess hand-picks MIKA’s Big Girls, You are Beautiful to salve your soul and chafing thighs.
And if that fails, I just scroll through my embarassingly large music collection and figure it out for my pretty little self.
(Ms. M&B must also admit that she consults her iPod for herself WAY too many times a day and considers these actions to be borderline OCD. So put down your iPod right now…that’s right…just walk away).