“Dear Ms. Mix & Bitch,
I have been reading your blog and I think you’re cool. I really liked how you admitted to liking music that sucks. So I felt I could write in and tell you about this thing that’s kinda taking over. I am into women’s pretty feet. I have ever since I can remember. I never thought anything about it. I figured it was just what I was into. But now I think it’s getting out of control, because I surf the net as much as I can, looking for new pretty feet. I even skip going out to lunch with my friends at work, so I can stay online and keeping looking. I can’t wait to get home so I can watch a foot fetish film, or look through one of my magazines. It’s the only way I can get hard. It’s kinda taking over my life – and there’s a part of it that’s not as much fun anymore because of it. I know I need to go to a counselor, but are they really able to handle something like this?
Yep, my foot-fancying-friend, you’re under the spell of classic foot fetishism. The DSM-IV Guide considers this particular ailment a sexual disorder. On the site www.allpsych.com, the following explanation is given:
“Fetishism is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual uses a nonliving object (e.g., woman’s high heeled shoe, stockings) in a sexual manner. Typically, the individual requires this object to become sexually aroused and is therefore unable to be aroused without it. To be considered diagnosable, the fantasies, urges, or behaviors must cause significant distress in the individual or be disruptive to his or her everyday functioning.”
So I’d say you qualify, buddy. And you’re right to try to get some help – and you’re also correct that many counselors may not know how to treat such particular dysfunction. You need to find a therapist that sub-specializes in sexual disorders (www.findatherapist.com). Desensitization therapy has proven to be highly effective in treating fetishes-gone-wild – basically “reassigning” the way your brain processes pleasure, helping to break the bonking cycle by pairing unpleasant images with pictures of your currently beloved happy feet. It works. Just find a therapist you really trust, otherwise nothing will work.
So here’s your personalized freaky feet mix – a last “fix” before your own personal rehab:
1. “To Hold Your Tiny Toes,” Mojave 3 [Puzzles Like You]
2. “Bubble Toes,” Jack Johnson. [Bushfire Fairytales]
3. “Sugarfoot,” The Wallflowers. [The Wallflowers]
4. “Mama, I’m Strange,” Melissa Etheridge. [Breakdown]
5. “Stink Foot,” Frank Zappa. [Apostrophe]
6. “People are Strange,” The Doors. [Strange Days]
7. “Heels,” Disco Volante. [Cinerama]
8. “Get on the Gold Foot,” James Brown. [James Brown’s Greatest Hits]
9. “Computer Blue,” Prince. [Purple Rain Original Motion Picture Soundtrack]
10. “Pause for Porno,” Dr Dre. [Dr. Dre 2001]
I know, I know – it’s a very literal music mix interpretation. So sue me.