Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m a nosy little bugger. It’s Wednesday night, and Mr. Mix and I are watching Top Chef as usual. And the whole time I’m watching this, all I’m thinking is, “So Padma, c’mon and spill it…who’s the daddy?” For those of you not under the ridiculously asinine clutches of pop culture gossip, Padma Lakshmi – host of Bravo’s Top Chef – is expecting her first child. Besides being happy about the pregnancy for obvious reasons, she’s lauding the conception as her own personal miracle, since she suffers from endometriosis. Bully for you, Ms. P. When asked “who’s the daddy,” she chose to stay mum on the fertile stud’s ID.
Which leads idiots like me with obviously too much time on my hands to speculate who is Padma’s baby daddy and why isn’t he coming front and center? Something’s fishy here on set, so I offer the following candidates for your consideration:
Bachelor #1 Teddy Forstmann
Ick. I know. He’s fugly old guy with a ridiculous Members Only jacket. With the collar up, no less. What’s the draw? Well, hmm, what do you think? He runs IMG (getting warmer), which in turn reps Bravo, which oversees – tah dah - Top Chef. That’s only three degrees of indentured servitude separation. Anyway, lots of people thought Teddy may be Daddy, since they were hot and heavy earlier this year. However, that may or may not be over by now. God only hope if it is Theodore’s, it’s not a girl ‘cuz females usually look just like the daddies.
Bachelor #2 Manu Nathan
Manu is Padma’s current boyfriend -and a more likely candidate. He works in the Business and Legal department of IMG (sounds familiar) and he’s also allegedly her…wait for it, wait for it… Padma’s cousin. Eew. I’m gonna hope for the inbred child’s sake that it’s a distant relation.
What I don’t get is that if they’re dating, and not, like, first cousins, then why didn’t they announce the baby together? Unless of course the baby daddy really is…
BachelorCandidate # 3 Tom Colicchio
Yeah, I know, he’s happily married, but who knows…maybe all that working together in the heat of the kitchen finally got to these two and they had at it on top of the Kenmore Elite Babymaker cooktop. Then he packed up his knife and went home to the missus and she’s left with the bun in the oven.
Of course, if I had my choice, it would be…
Bachelor # 4 Former Top Chef Contestant, Sam Talbot
I always sensed a lot of sexual tension between these two. And my sweet and merciful Jesus, he sure is purty. But my guess is that he doesn’t make enough bank for Padma and therefore wouldn’t qualify as sperm donor. But that’s a sex tape I’d gladly download, thank you very much. Mama loves her food porn.